so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize