and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
