Just fell off a train. Bad.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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