dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
