Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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