I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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