If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
