i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
