Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
