last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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