She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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