some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize
