So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
