He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
17 year olds will be the death of me.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
