he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
