great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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