FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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