we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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