thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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