One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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