I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Randomize
