He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
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