I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Randomize
