He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize