Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
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