I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Randomize
