the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
