I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
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Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
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Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"