If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?