it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"