Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?