I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.