You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
