i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
