32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
