I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
