girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
