"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize
