is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
