Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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