I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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