yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
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your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
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I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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