You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
