i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
