I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
