if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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