The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize