I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
