I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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