I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
