So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
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