I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
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He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
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You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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