Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
