Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
