so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
