I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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