I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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