So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
