You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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