I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I'm passing your future prison.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
