Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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