his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
