you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Just high enough for therapy.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
