I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
