Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
