4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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