i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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